| Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 11:29 pm (no subject) |
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Current Mood: kinda sad
Current Music: im not okay...my chemical romance.
well here i go. things are ok i guess...man i have been doing a lot of thinking. a lot of what if's and what not's. times are ok..could be better. well im starting to like someone..but idk. shes really cool and all but idk if she is for me. i hate this rain i wish it would go away, damn it i want to ride my new motorcycle. well i met a group of friends through my friends and i started to get close to some of them but honestly i think they all could careless about me..i really do. ive been hurt, made fun of, ignored, and vorenable with these people. sometimes i wish i didnt know them,,but then other times i do. it pretty much just goes back to the fact that things well my things were layed out on the table by someone at one point, which i cared for more than the world, and after that things well lets just put it this way i dont trust them as fare as i can throw them.i so wish otherwise tho..i really do. i cant believe sometime that if i just asked her that one little question...things would be so different,,i would have never been hurt, would have had a relationship and most of all would have had a close friend. now it just seems that where ever i turn i have to watch my back with these people...they just rubed me the wrong way, and im affriad its going to happen again. i really really dont think any of them give a crap about me, and even my best friend has no time for me anymore. ya know everything we deceided we would do together hasnt happend, he is off on his own and not including me..=/ man i just wish things were different. i hope this michelle thing works..cause i need someone to turn to..i mean i have to great girls jessica, and katie who will be there for me no matter what but i dont have the person to share that kiss after im sad with or to cuddle with me when im down. i hate the fact that i have to sound mean to this girls i once was so nice to...i just dont trust them,,,i try to be myself but i just cant get the thought out of my head that they dont care about me..!! man what am i going to do..really.
=/ cory |
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